It was an amazing day- full of family fun, friendly competition, and lots of laughter.  Memories were made that will never be forgotten.  Thanks to everyone who participated! Keep your game faces on for the next throw down!

Being a parent is like being a good host to a stranger. While we may think that our children are like us, we are continually surprised at how different they are. We can be gladdened by their intelligence, their artistic gifts, or their athletic prowess, or saddened by their slowness in learning, their lack of coordination, or their “odd” interests. In many ways we don’t know our children.

 

We didn’t create our own children, nor do we own them. This is good news. We don’t need to blame ourselves for their problems, nor should we claim ourselves their successes.

 

Children are a gift from God. They are given to us so that we can offer them a safe, loving place to grow to inner and outer freedom. They are like strangers who ask for hospitality, become good friends, and then leave again to continue their journey. They bring immense joy and immense sorrow precisely because they are gifts. And a good gift, as a proverb says, is “twice given.”

 

The gift we receive, we have to give again. When our children leave us to study, to look for work, to marry, to join a community, or simply to become independent, sorrow and joy touch each other. Because it is then that we feel deeply that “our” child isn’t really “ours” but given to us to become a true gift to others.

 

It is so hard to give our children their freedom- especially in this violent and exploitative world. We so much want to protect them from all possible dangers. But we cannot. They do not belong to us. They belong to God, and one of the greatest acts of trust in God is letting our children make their own choices and find their own way.

I have a feeling I will re-read these powerful words countless times, as a reminder to myself, to celebrate as my children grow more independent, despite the sadness that I feel every single day, wishing I could freeze these moments in time… wishing they would never change.  But, truly, what wonderful gifts they are.

The last three months have taught me that change is not only necessary, but it keeps us growing… it keeps life moving. I’ve been doing my very best to not only accept it, but to embrace it.

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.”  (John Belasco)

Rosina Pollard was my wonderful Nanny.  My Nan can’t be measured against any other. She has always been the source of an indescribable power and a light burns brighter with every amazing memory. Knowing that I carry a rich measure of her love allows me to stand tall in the face of any challenge. I could never have become the man, husband, son, and father my family deserves without her. I find myself asking how it will be possible to repay her for the honor it has been to have her by my side. I wonder how I will ever be able to find the words to describe her to my son when so few are worthy. If Nan were reading this I’m sure she would tell me not to worry and that someone as wonderful and handsome as her Grandson won’t have any trouble. She had a way of making me feel 20ft tall. After looking for all of the things that could remind me of my Nan, I came across the frame of an engagement picture that my wife and I had left out for guests to sign at our wedding. I quickly looked from one small message to the next praying that my Nan had somehow found the time to sign it in all the commotion. After reading almost every message, I found my Nan. With tears in my eyes I read the words, “Be Very Happy,” as if she had somehow known exactly what I needed to hear.

 

I Love You with All That I Am and All I Ever Will Be, Nan.

Your Ian

Happy Valentine’s Day, Friends!  XOXO

(Did I actually buy my baby boy angel wings?  Um, yes… yes, I did.  How could I not take full advantage of the photo op when he looks just like a little cherub?! My mom and dad are fully convinced he’s going to hate me someday. )

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

~Peg Bracken

I’m still coming down from the buzz of Christmas, holy smokes! This Christmas will go down as one of the best.  We ate and laughed and played with so many of the people we love.

We decorated Christmas Trees and gingerbread houses, sat on Santa’s lap, spent time with great friends at a lovely Christmas party, and searched high and low for Jingle Bell our Elf On The Shelf every single morning since Thanksgiving.

We spent many nights this Christmas season reading about the birth of Jesus. We put our nativity scene together and talked about Mary and Joseph, the three kings, angels and shepherds. And on Christmas Eve, I woke RJ up at 10:00 pm and asked him if he wanted to attend a Christmas Eve Church service with the adults.  He popped out of bed quicker than I could blink.  He had never heard of Jesus before coming to live with us, so he had about a million questions, but was fully attentive well into the wee hours of the night.

We celebrated Christmas three times this year- once in Augusta with my side, once in North Carolina with Ians, and once at home- just the four of us.  Each celebration brought with it its own set of memories that we will cherish forever.

We hope your holidays were just as merry and bright!

But, why then, must the process be so long and so full of stress and angst?  We have been fighting for him for close to a year, and we are still playing the waiting game for paperwork to be filed to hurry this process along.  I wish so much that he could just get some closure.  The night terrors (that have now started happening in the middle of the day) are more than a little hard to watch.

Now, don’t get me wrong-

Adoption is a wonderful gift, and I’m a firm believer that parenting doesn’t begin in the womb. Parenting begins when you meet the child you will devote your time, self and energy to. Whoever that child may be. Wherever that child may come from.

 

Whoever’s eyes that child gazes at you with.

 

Because at the end of the day, we will get to wipe the tears from those eyes – whatever color they may be.

 

And I’m so excited to be a part of this miracle.

I just wish all these policies, practices, and red tape would be overlooked in the best interest of the child… I desperately want to be able to look him square in the eye and tell him, without a doubt, that he is ours and we are his… FOREVER… and nothing or nobody will ever change that.

A brief overview of just a few of our ups and downs:

• Baby G got sick- and by sick, I mean, pneumonia in his left lung, then dropping Pulse Ox levels (some readings even around 87!), and his pediatrician having him rushed to the ER in an ambulance, kind of sick…  and this lasted for 17 sleepless days and nights straight.  Two antibiotics (one of which was a three day shot), and nebulizer treatments  later, he finally started feeling a bit better.

• RJ’s court date came and went and the judge provided our team the information necessary to file the TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) paperwork- and strongly suggested it be filed ASAP.  She also cancelled all parental visitation until further notice.  For everyone that may not know the full background- this is the best news we could have possibly received.

• We have been given the extraordinary news that we will be first in line to adopt our beautiful, brown eyed boy! We have known for about 6 months; but after DFACS notified both biologicals of the termination of their rights, we are beginning to feel just a little more confident. (Although this whole process couldn’t be scarier!)

• Grae started WALKING!  And CLIMBING!  And even RUNNING and DANCING from time to time!  He never stops exploring and he literally is more fun EVERY SINGLE DAY.

• This morning, we flipped our big boy’s car seat around! :O

• RJ started calling us Mommy and Daddy!!  He also gave himself a new name (he’ll remain RJ on the blog for privacy purposes ), and very eloquently explained that he no longer wants to be named after his biological and that he has a new family and a new life, so he should also have a new name.  How could we not agree to it?? It just so happens that it was our other top choice when choosing names for G!  He’s my Mama’s Boy. <3

• Another 6 credits completed on my Ph.D.!

• And, in between all of this, we had one of the all-time best Christmases EVER with our families (Pics soon to follow!).

______________________________________________________________________

Grae,

You have dramatically and wonderfully impacted my life. I will never be the same.  Thank you for making me a mommy and teaching me more than I could have ever learned without you.  There is something so special about you, Graeson. And I’m not just saying this because I’m your Mom. It is something more than your loving and happy nature.  It is undefinable, and yet I know in my heart you are destined for great things. I am looking so forward to watching you grow and experiencing the magic you will continue to infuse into this world.  I thank God every night for the unconditional love that He has given me through you.  Never stop unraveling this world with your excitement and wonder.  I am so proud of you, son.

Happy First Birthday to our Graeson Royce! You are SO loved!

~Mommy

How you spent your first birthday:

You woke up to a fort that Daddy made you, filled with your favorite thing- Balloons!

After playing with Daddy, and your morning nap, you went to RJ’s kindergarten to have lunch with him.  Afterwards, you went to the grocery store and Daddy pushed you around in the ”Car” grocery cart while you screamed and laughed for an hour.  You got a “First Birthday” balloon and a flower to bring to me at work!  (You melted my heart!)

After you picked me up from work, we headed to the Georgia Aquarium!  You are mesmerized by our small salt water tank in our bedroom, so we knew you’d LOVE it (and we were RIGHT!!)

You picked out a Buluga Whale in the gift shop for a birthday present.

You played with Birthday Buluga all the way home.

And after we picked RJ up from school, it was time to come home and have cake!