RJ came home from school today declaring that he had the PERFECT name for his new “SISTER”…. The conversation went something like this:
LIAM: “Isn’t it perfect Mommy? Can we name my baby sister Captain America?? Please, Please, Pleaseeee??”
ME: Sure, that’s the perfect name for the baby until it is born! But how do you know you are going to have a sister?
LIAM: I just know it… she’s my beautiful sister in your belly. Wow, I wonder how she’s going to come out! (HORRIFIED LOOK) Mommy, will they cut your belly open?
ME: Gosh, I hope not, Buddy… we will have to see though I guess.
LIAM: Just tell Captain America that Big Brother loves her.
(PRAY for me… here’s to 7 more months of questions and conversations with a six year old!)
Seriously though… he just melted my heart…
AND THEN, I OPENED THE CHILD’S BACKPACK AND PULL OUT HIS SCHOOLWORK AND THE FIRST THING I SEE IS:
What a MONTH! I’m still trying to recover from the roller coaster we have been riding… Talk about a head-spin. These past few weeks have been incredibly challenging and I’m so very thankful that we are starting to see the light at the end of this tunnel.
A brief overview of just a few of our ups and downs:
- Baby G got sick- and by sick, I mean, pneumonia in his left lung, then dropping Pulse Ox levels (some readings even around 87!), and his pediatrician having him rushed to the ER in an ambulance, kind of sick… and this lasted for 17 sleepless days and nights straight. Two antibiotics (one of which was a three day shot), and nebulizer treatments later, he finally started feeling a bit better.
- RJ’s court date came and went and the judge provided our team the information necessary to file the TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) paperwork- and strongly suggested it be filed ASAP. She also cancelled all parental visitation until further notice. For everyone that may not know the full background- this is the best news we could have possibly received.
- We have been given the extraordinary news that we will be first in line to adopt our beautiful, brown eyed boy! We have known for about 6 months; but after DFACS notified both biologicals of the termination of their rights, we are beginning to feel just a little more confident. (Although this whole process couldn’t be scarier!)
- Grae started WALKING! And CLIMBING! And even RUNNING and DANCING from time to time! He never stops exploring and he literally is more fun EVERY SINGLE DAY.
- This morning, we flipped our big boy’s car seat around! :O
- RJ started calling us Mommy and Daddy!! He also gave himself a new name (he’ll remain RJ on the blog for privacy purposes :)), and very eloquently explained that he no longer wants to be named after his biological and that he has a new family and a new life, so he should also have a new name. How could we not agree to it?? It just so happens that it was our other top choice when choosing names for G! He’s my Mama’s Boy. ❤
- Another 6 credits completed on my Ph.D.!
- And, in between all of this, we had one of the all-time best Christmases EVER with our families (Pics soon to follow!).
Being a Mother uses every skill and strength I’ve ever acquired, and many that I was never aware I had. It has made me more capable, more centered, and more focused. It has made me stronger, braver, and tougher, yet, at the same time, softened my spirit and opened my heart. It has made me less selfish and more patient. It has made me a better person.
It is, by far, the biggest and most significant accomplishment of my lifetime.
How is it possible to love someone more than you ever thought possible, yet love them even more each and every day?
I now have a new understanding and respect for the saying “A Mother’s Love.”
Yesterday, I was surprised with the most wonderful package on my doorstep– a “Happy First Mother’s Day” gift from the most wonderful Aunt a girl could ask for. For some reason, it hadn’t hit me that this will be my first TRUE Mother’s Day. I feel like I’ve been Grae’s Mommy for as long as I’ve been alive myself. I simply cannot imagine a time when he wasn’t a part of our lives. Last year at this time, I was 3 months pregnant and we had our three foster daughters living with us. Wow. Just one year later and so much has changed.
In addition to a beautiful card and a DELICIOUS recipe book (that I can’t wait to try every single recipe out of), the package included a children’s book called “If I Could Keep You Little.” It’s a beautiful story about growing up. I have really been
an emotional basket case struggling at how fast my perfect, helpless baby boy is turning into this sweet, funny little boy with a personality and opinions all of his own. This story helped me see that if I could stop time, and keep him as a baby forever, like I’ve wished a million times, I would miss out on so many equally amazing things.
I couldn’t even get through it the first time I attempted to read it to G. Late last night, I started reading it to him again, and by the end, my voice was cracking and big tears were streaming down my cheeks.
It really is the most beautiful story and I will cherish it forever.