Foster care after Grae

Graeson is now 3 months old and we have decided that we will continue to foster children in our home.  We are expecting our first “placement” (as the Department of Family and Child Services so affectionately refers to children in foster care) tomorrow afternoon.  I couldn’t be more excited to meet our four year old little boy.

That being said, I’m going to go ahead and get something off my chest.  Upon sharing this great news on Facebook, a very few people… unfortunately both family members and close friends… have made comments along the line of:  “You shouldn’t foster children while you have your own biological children in the home.”

Quite frankly, I couldn’t be more disgusted and disappointed in you.  Furthermore, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  And yes, I spoke with each of the lovely souls that I am referring to directly, but I’m so aggravated by the LACK OF HUMANITY and COMPASSION in this world, I have decided I am not finished RANTING.  So, please bare with me.

First of all- I’ll worry about “the welfare of my biological child”, THANK YOU.  I do not need parenting lessons and I do not want your advice or opinions unless I directly ask for them (which, I will do from time to time if you prove to be worthy of my respect.)

Second of all- Most, if not all, of the foster parents that I know have biological children in their homes.  If we took away all of these great, safe homes for children, what would happen to those poor babies?  Would you rather we regress to ORPHANAGES?!

Third, and most important- THE WELFARE OF OUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN? SERIOUSLY?!!!  LIKE WE ARE EXPOSING THEM TO DANGEROUS CRIMINALS??! Excuse me?!  We are talking about CHILDREN!  CHILDREN WHO DESERVE TO LAUGH AND PLAY and experience CHILDHOOD, some for the first time in their lives, as much as any one.

I obviously do not and will not be taking my eyes off of either child, biological or foster- so there will be no fear of either child being hurt… so for those of you who made these comments out of love for Grae, thanks for your concern, but please trust in our parenting and I beg you to educate yourselves and think before you speak.

Graeson (and any future biological children we may have) will learn compassion for others. He will learn to share with those who have nothing. He will know how important it is to volunteer and to help others. AND he will know that the world needs reform and he is the next generation.

Thanks for listening.

**Stepping off my soapbox now**

7 thoughts on “Foster care after Grae

  1. Andrea, you could not have said this more beautifully! I whole-heartedly agree with all that you have said here. I am glad I didn’t see the comments from those people, because I’m sure I would not have restrained myself from commenting back to them. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: You are an amazing person for allowing these children into your home and your heart. I hope one day Joey and I are able to open our home to children who need a loving, happy place to cxall home.

    You are an inspiration to many, including myself. You keep doing your thing, and other people can STFU. 😛

  2. Andrea,

    Great post! I couldn’t find a “contact” section so I decided to write here. My company, Freshpet, is launching a brand new product called Ready to Bake Cookies for dogs. Since you have 5 dogs, we would love for you to cover and review it. Basically, have your pooches have a go at the cookies and let us know what they think of it! If this interests you, send me an email at I would love to send you over these cookies.

  3. to be honest, i’ve been thinking about you fostering and i was going to post a message asking you if you were still going to foster! talk about coincidences! 😛 i wouldnt listen to them, after all you are an experienced foster mum, and i respect you so much! you are providing a home for these children, however long they stay there, and its not really a concern of your relatives and friends. what you are doing is amazing, and in addition to that, you are giving Grae and this lucky little boy a brother in each other – there is no better thing to do! i hope you realise that someone in England thinks you are making an amazing decision that will change the lives of all those who you are fostering. i love reading your blog!! Beatrice xxx

  4. I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing, providing a safe loving place for children with an open heart. Each child will probably have their own little ways that are different than yours, but that doesnt mean there will be a problem. Besides it helping that child, it will help Grea. It will give him somebody to play with, somebody to watch and learn great skills like how to share or take your turn. You are doing amazing things. Don’t listen to people who tell you otherwise

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